From suffering in silence to getting the right support

Nick Barbara entered the army in 1982 and stayed for 25 years, leaving in 2007. He is now receiving support from Veterans’ Affairs but he wished he has done it years ago.

“My counselling had been talking to my mates at the pub. To manage my hearing loss, I’d turn up the TV or turn around to see people speaking. I was encouraging other people to seek help but I didn’t think I needed or deserved it. I thought my problems were just linked to ageing and I used to suffer in silence.”

He says the support he has received from Veterans’ Affairs has changed his life for the better.

“I have now received professional support and I can go to the doctor without worrying about the cost. I also got new hearing aids. The TV can go back to its normal level and my family is much happier that I can hear them.”

Recon Pl 1 RNZIR Det, Long Range Patrol course held in Brunei run by the British, 1985

In his service Nick was deployed to Bosnia for just under six months as part of the K3 contingent. As a member of the 4 th Rifle Platoon he was involved in security and peace talks, and worked as part of the United Nations mission to bring peace and stability to the region.

Nick says that while veterans may have served in different places and different wars, nearly all of them have been exposed to atrocities and death and destruction. He says the transition from these volatile situations can lead to issues when people come home.

Support Section B/Coy 2/1 Bn, West Coast

“When you are serving you are always on full adrenaline and having to make risky decisions. I hoped that each day I was making the right decision as I didn’t want to have to tell a person’s whanau that they got injured or died as a result of a decision I made.”

“Then we return to civilian life and have to re-learn how to live in an environment without that intensity. At the same time, our family has moved on in what they are doing. We have to catch up or we fall behind and that can affect people’s mental health,” he said.

As part of his support from Veterans’ Affairs Nick also has been diagnosed with complex PTSD, and is receiving treatment for it. (Complex PTSD is a psychological condition stemming from prolonged or repeated trauma. Beyond standard PTSD symptoms, it includes severe difficulties with emotional regulation, a persistently negative self-concept, and chronic trouble forming and maintaining relationships). 

Nick works for a Te Whare Tiaki Rongomātāne Men’s Centre, based in Porirua. This organisation offers a safe place and pastoral care and support services to men.

Nick Barbara, Veterans' Affairs Greater Wellington Region Veterans' Support Forum, 2026

“In my job I work with veterans who have anger and addiction issues, often this is a result of an uneasy transition to civilian life. Now that I have got the support I needed, I am really insistent about ensuring other veterans get the help they need,” he said.